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4 hours ago
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The king is dead. Long live the king. Not so much Labour electing a new leader, more a coronation. There were no surprises. No real drama. The deed had been done the moment Andy Burnham had won the Makerfield byelection. That was when Labour MPs switched off Keir Starmer’s life support machine.
Even Vladimir Putin would be moderately happy with a 379 to one victory. The only dissenting voice was Neil Coyle, who nominated Catherine West, saying there was “no more room up Andy’s arse”. There again, if Friday’s victory march was anything to go by, anything to do with Andy is a comfort blanket for Labour members to allow themselves the security of believing there may be hope after all.
The proceedings began with Lucy Powell, Labour’s deputy leader and the staunchest of Andyites, trying to ramp up the applause. She needn’t have bothered, because the audience of a couple of hundred or so – made up of party grandees such as David Blunkett and Margaret Beckett, the odd cabinet minister and Labour members – needed no encouragement. They hadn’t felt quite so good about themselves in years.
Eventually the clapping died down and Lucy started with the funeral eulogy. Paying her respects to the fallen. The former chosen one. Keir had been amazing. He had achieved greatness. Behold the wonders. His legacy would be eternal. Or at least until Andy got up to speak. But she would like to congratulate Keir for the dignity and grace with which he conducted himself while the last rites were being given. And Andy, too, for not contesting the will.
With that, Lucy handed over to Hollie Ridley, the outgoing general secretary of the Labour party, and Shabana Mahmood, the chair of the NEC, who both made mini-speechlets in which they confirmed that the coronation had taken place in accordance with the rules. Not that anyone really cared if they had or not. All eyes were on the new leader as he made his way to the lectern. Cue another prolonged standing ovation with no one wanting to be the person who sat down first. Not until Andy had given them permission.
He turned out to be worth waiting for. After years of agony listening to Keir’s speeches, in which every sentence died on his lips and had even the home crowd praying for the ordeal to be over, here was a leader who could connect. A gifted communicator who speaks to and from the soul. Someone who can give you a reason to believe. Even if it’s against your better judgment. Even though you know deep down it’s most likely going to end in tears and disappointment, just as it has with almost every other former prime minister, this time – just for 20 minutes or so – you are willing to suspend your despair. Maybe this time it could be different.
OK, so it was all mainly good vibes stuff. But good vibes is better than the bad vibes of a Keir, a Nigel or a Kemi. And there will be plenty of time for Andy to flesh out the policy areas in the coming weeks of summer. Though Liz Truss is already insistent he will bankrupt the country. Dear Liz. It isn’t Andy who is going to trash the economy. That was what you did four years ago, Liz. And we’re still picking up the pieces.
“I am ready for this,” said Andy. I certainly hope so. He’s had long enough to prepare for this moment. And it’s not as if he can ask for another couple of months to get match fit. That’s rather what Starmer did after the 2024 general election and look where that got him.
Andy too wanted to start with a tribute to his predecessor. He had come to both bury and praise him. For saving a Labour party in its death throes in 2020 and for helping him with the Hillsborough law. Andy wanted us to know it had been his law all along. Not Keir’s. A commitment to the end of cover-up culture. A chance to make the country work again for communities that had been forgotten. That word hope again. When it came to taking back control, it had been the neoliberal policies of the right that had given it away in the first place.
Then to the substance. Labour would be a united party; a place where different factions could work together. Here Andy nicely twisted the joke about a Brownite, a Blairite and a Corbynite walking into a bar – “Hello, Andy” – into one where he had merely been loyal to the party leader. One day soon we may even know what being a Burnhamite really involves. So far, it’s all a bit vague. There would also be an end to finger-pointing politics. He genuinely wanted to reach out to other parties. Hmm. I’m not sure Kemi and Nige will be reaching back. But it’s the thought that counts.
Rather alarmingly, Andy went on to say he hadn’t yet got round to choosing “any of his top team”. That may or may not be bad news for Mahmood, who has never previously shown any interest in economic policy but has been tipped as chancellor. He will need to get a bend on. He’s going to be prime minister on Monday. Still. He would be forging a new direction for the country. A Labour direction. An echo of Gordon Brown back in 2007.
“I will govern for the north, south, east and west,” he said, offering reassurance that the king of the north would not be prioritising his heartlands. He also promised he would be popping into Greggs regularly because that’s where he often got his best ideas. That must have given the security detail in No 10 heart murmurs. Not sure they would be looking forward to taking the prime minister out for a daily pasty in the outlet at Westminster tube.
Andy ended by saying he knew what he believed and that he had a plan. Which was a relief. Because some of us are still a bit hazy about what he believes and what the plan is. But that will come. “I have my style and I won’t change,” he said, talking of his recent trip to Cardiff, where he took questions from punters on social media about such taxing topics as “loud music on public transport”. Still, better than just from Gary Lineker. He’s yet to take any questions from the political media.
“I believe in all of you,” he said. And just in that moment, we could believe in him. Do you feel lucky today?
