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Key events
Almost straight off the bat, ITV go to the politics – “Things that always litter a pre-tournament buildup,” says Neville. Er, do they? He goes on to say the football will take over, but Ian Wright, Roy Keane and Mark Pougatch make sure to stipulate we mustn’t let it obscure the continuing issues.
Gosh, the first montage of the tournament, of tournaments past, has me quite emotional – there’s a lot to take in, and that’s before I get going on Gary Neville’s shirt, straight off the peg from River Island c.1995.
It’s time for ITV’s credits and, if you’ve not seen them, they’re beautiful, shot on film and lush as you like.
Yes!
Quiz time: name that tune!
Ahhhh! Ding! Ding ding ding ding! Neow! Ding ding ding ding! Ta bam bam bam bam bam bam!
De ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne. De ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne. De ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne!
Preamble
What a feeling! Thirty-nine days, 104 matches, and the greatest joy known to humankind, an affirming, inspiring, immersive, absorbing, challenging, compelling, enriching, educational orgy of glorious, wondrous, beauteous football. Drink it in, people!
Just be careful you don’t choke. Because though we thought that, after Russia and Qatar, World Cups – or should that be Worlds Cup, we deal with all the important issues here – couldn’t get any more problematic, here we are.
The awfulness is too extensive to enumerate in this preamble but, before football happens and narcotises us into compliance, we must pay our debt to pleasure – ideally not simply by grousing, but perhaps by doing something small to combat the forces that co-opt us and our incomparable game. Being kind and tolerant, perhaps, or donating to a charity that supports migrants or refugees – our options are numerous.
Quite how we segue from here back to the sport isn’t totally clear, but such are the complexities of life, the game a victim of its own genius, simply too amazing and uniting not to be exploited by bad actors, corporate voids and invertebrate suits. So let’s dig into that; seamless, eh?
We’ll begin of course, with the spectacle and snark of our first opening ceremony – each host country is staging one – with those of us old enough to remember 1970 and 1986 forgiven for convulsing into tears at the mere sight of Estadio Azteca. In which connection, it’s worth remembering that for millions of children around the world, this is their debut tournament; the first time they’ve experienced the joy of a football onslaught. And, while those of us who are well beyond that will never recapture our personal moment, staying up late and sneaking snide watches, the sense of wonder is something we understand better now, as adults, than in the moment as kids.
A lot’s happened to us since then, the weight of the years narrowing eyes and dulling senses. But if we take a moment with ourselves, we’re there, the sense of wonder perpetually part of us and perennially there for us. These are the days of our lives, and this is the vibe we can bring to it – and everything else – if we allow ourselves to.
On to our opening match and it’s a belter, two teams looking to attack but in different ways: Mexico by controlling the centre of the pitch and South Africa with thrust down the flanks. Look out for Gilberto Mora, the hosts’ 17-year-old midfielder – he’s the youngest player in the tournament and a serious talent – but really, look out for absolutely everything. It’s here!
Opening ceremony: 11.30am local, 1,30pm EDT, 6.30pm BST, 3.30am (Fri) AEST
Kick-off: 1pm local, 3pm EDT, 8pm BST, 5am (Fri) AEST
