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Born in Glasgow, Andrew O’Hagan, 58, studied at the University of Strathclyde. In 1995, he published The Missing, a work of nonfiction. His debut novel, Our Fathers, was shortlisted for the Booker prize in 1999; Be Near Me and The Illuminations were longlisted in 2006 and 2015. His recent novels are Caledonian Road and Mayflies. The latter was adapted for BBC television in 2022 and is now a play which will be performed at the Edinburgh fringe from 7 to 30 August. O’Hagan is editor at large for the London Review of Books; he lives in London with his wife and has a daughter.
What is your greatest fear?
I can’t say it.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My interest in Los Angeles.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Making people smaller than they are because of something they can’t handle in themselves.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
My first holy communion, where my trousers were too big for me and fell down, a circumstance which earned me both the instant contempt of the girls and the heightened interest of the priests. That’s just how it was in 1975.
Describe yourself in three words
Just. Hanging. On.
What makes you unhappy?
Reform UK.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Deciding a TV drama is crap after 10 minutes of episode one, then building a case against it for the rest of the series.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My hands are tiny. I need both to lift a cupcake.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Janette Krankie, I fear.
Who is your celebrity crush?
David Attenborough. We could just hold hands, like I was a baby orangutan.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Most days, I wanted to be Albrecht in the classical ballet Giselle, dancing until I dropped dead.
What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
Somebody once told me I was the spitting image of David Cameron.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Selling Sunset on Netflix.
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What do you owe your parents?
A debt of gratitude for a lifelong addiction to self-pity.
What does love feel like?
Like getting out of the right side of the bed every morning, even when you don’t.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
The internet. Such potential for good and for levelling up the world, but such a quagmire in reality.
When’s the last time you changed your mind about something significant?
The other day, when I decided that maybe I had been too harsh on mid-period Sting.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
For world capitalism to grind to a halt.
What has been your closest brush with the law?
The CIA once came after me with the accusation that I was keeping WikiLeaks secrets.
How would you like to be remembered?
As a good friend.
Tell us a secret.
According to sources, various young members of the royal family fully expect that Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor will go to jail.
